#ANDY ROONEY PANCAKES TV#
#ANDY ROONEY PANCAKES FREE#

Your wife? He answers, 'You see, it's like this, yesterday, I

She says, confused, 'Sir, I thought you were looking for some A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton Looking for a box of tampons for his wife. Girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. The rest of the story gets rather ugly so I'll stop right here.Ī man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles.

Leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, 'It's He addressed the man, 'Can you describe your wife's favorite Wives know the things that are important to each other.' Wife Grace listened to the instructor, 'It is essential that While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider. I'll neverĬan take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, and rip I know I'm not going to understand women. UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE) My husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this

#ANDY ROONEY PANCAKES TV#

'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote 'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people. I thank you, once again, for having such a great product. That I would no longer be considered a suspect! Yesterday told me that the DNA tests were negative and my attorney said In fact, the stains came out so well, that some detectives who came by Surprise & satisfaction, all of the stains came out! After a quick trip to the supermarket, I stoppedĪnd got a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach alternative, and to my I tried to get the stain out using a bargain detergent, but it Thing led to another and I ended up with a lot of his blood on my whiteīlouse. my unfeeling and uncaring husband started to berate me about howĬlumsy I was, and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new whiteīlouse. Now that I am older and going through menopause, I find it even Since the beginning of my married life, when my Mom told me it was theīest. I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it 'Uh, yeah.this is the VD clinic calling.Speaking of being positive, your test results are back. The thought for the day is: 'Share the love.' BEEP Makes you wonder where she got that dollar she gave you for your birthday.ĭid you ever hear one of these corny positive messages on someone's answering machine? 'Hi, it's a great day and I'm out enjoying it right now. My grandmother has a bumper sticker on her car that says, 'Sexy Senior Citizen.' You don't want to think of your grandmother that way, do you? Out entering wet shawl contests. They use words like 'Cripes' 'For Cripes sake.' Who would that be Jesus Cripes? The son of 'Gosh' of the church of 'Holy Moly'? I'm not making fun of it.

We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve. And the women are thinking, 'How can he want me the way I look in the morning?' It's because we can't see you. Men and women are different in the morning. But, it's hard to get that April Fresh scent out of your clothes. Fabric softeners are how our wives mark their territory. I never knew what that stuff was for.Then I noticed women coming up to me, sniffing, then saying under their breath, 'Married!' and walking away. And, if they don't want to run, they can rest in the chair that's hooked up to the generator. I think they should have to run twelve hours a day on a treadmill and generate electricity.

#ANDY ROONEY PANCAKES FREE#

I don't think we should give free room and board to criminals. Vegetarian - that's an old Indian word meaning 'lousy hunter'.ĭid you know that it costs forty thousand dollars a year to house each prisoner? Jeez, for forty thousand bucks apiece I'll take a few prisoners into my house. It seems like only yesterday that she was crawling round the White House on her hands and knees. Can you believe it? Monica turned 28 this week.

Andy rooney pancakes